The Philadelphia 76ers got blown out 112-97 last night by the Oklahoma City Thunder, in a game where they looked like they couldn't wait to hit their collective post-puberty growth spurt so their older brother wouldn't be able to bully them on the driveway hoop anymore. The Sixers' problems with the Thunder's strength, length and athleticism were many, but nowhere bigger than on the boards, where their teamwide ineptitude was cruelly exposed. Some highlights:
-The Sixers only grabbed 25 boards total on the night. That's tied for the lowest team-wide total in any single-game NBA performance this year, and worse than any other rebounding night of the Process era.
-Nobody in the Sixers' starting lineup grabbed more than three rebounds. The high man for the Sixers was Shawn Long with six off the bench. The Thunder's starting lineup had as many offensive rebounds (nine) as the Sixers' first five had total boards.
-The Sixers' center rotation of Jahlil Okafor, Richaun Holmes and Shawn Long combined for ten rebounds total. Enes Kanter had 11 boards in 20 minutes off the bench as OKC's backup C.
So yeah, good times from a team without a single active player (besides Long, who just got here five minutes ago) averaging 10 rebounds per 36 minutes. If only we had a seven-foot monster with freakish hands and athleticism to hold down the middle for us, who we could be confident would actually be healthy for any of the 2018 season. Free WFC parking and infinite Crab Fries refills would be nice too.