Well, they finally did it. They finally took a loss worse than the Devin Harris game.
The Devin Harris game, Sixers fans of the pre-pre-Process vintage will undoubtedly recall in excruciating detail, occurred exactly seven years and one month ago last night. Andre Iguodala goes to the line at the Prudential Center with the game tied and 1.8 seconds left. He hits one of two to give Philly a 96-95 advantage as the Nets take the ball out with no timeouts. Devin Harris takes the inbounds up the left sideline, and tries to force contact against a backpedaling Iguodala. The ref doesn't bite as Harris halfheartedly feigns a shot attempt up against 'Dre, who backs off for fear of being baited into contact. But the faux-shot doesn't go that far, and Harris collects it again for just long enough to let go a reflexive heave from just beyond the halfcourt line. Against all laws of physics, nature, and organized religion, it goes in. Nets 98, Sixers 96.
It was, without a doubt, the worst thing that's ever happened. Until last night.
Look, at the end of the day, season, year, life, whatever, does it really matter if the Sixers win nine games or ten games this season? Probably not. The Sixers have essentially long clinched the worst record in the league, the amount of ping-pong balls are the same whether they have the worst record by six or seven games, and nobody's job is gonna be made one way or the other by a W's difference. These Sixers will be remembered as historically bad whether or not they literally end up tied with the worst 82-game record in the league's history. This season has sucked and will continue to suck until it's over. And that's gonna happen in ten games, no matter what. (Unless they add new games to the schedule, the possibility of which probably shouldn't be counted out in this last-third-of-Funny People of a basketball season.)
Still... c'mon. Ten wins isn't a lot to ask for. You can win ten games and still lose 72, which would be enough Ls to miss the playoffs in baseball most seasons. The Denver Nuggets have now won three times that many games this season, and their best player right now is a Serbian rookie center taken with the 41st pick in the draft last summer. It's true that the Philadelphia 76ers are a very bad basketball team, and that even last night, they played poorly enough in the game's final two minutes that they can hardly say that they deserve to win the game. But that's what separates a normal bad season from a potential single-digit-win bad season — in normal bad seasons, you occasionally win games you don't necessarily deserve. In a potential single-digit-win bad season, God personally descends from the heavens to swat your Hail Mary, and then gives you the Dikembe Mutombo finger wag.
So yeah. The 9-62 Philadelphia 76ers somehow strung together enough made baskets — including 15 threes, how about that — to take a five point lead against the Nuggets in Denver with just a couple minutes remaining. A basket, two free throws, and a couple supremely empty Sixers possessions later, Denver had cut it to one, and had the ball at half court with 15 seconds left and a chance to take the lead. But lord love a duck, Nugs point guard Emmanuel Mudiay missed his layup attempt, and somehow neither T.J. McConnell or Jermai Grant got whistled for contact as Robert Covington (welcome back Bob!) collected the board. Cov went to the line with a chance to make it a three point game, but split the two free throws. Still, the Nugs had zero timeouts left and only three seconds to do anything with the ball, and Mudiay again got smothered at half-court. It seemed unlikely he'd even get a shot off, much less make it for the game-winning three-pointer. We were home free; not only going to escape Denver with a win, but escape the curse of 9-73, once and hopefully for all.
Then Sam Hinkie looked over his shoulder, and the entire Philadelphia 76ers organization turned into a pillar of salt. Swish. Maybe, baby, the gypsy lied.
NBA
Someday, none of these Sixers will be here. Isaiah Canaan will be an emergency gunner off the bench for Charlotte, Hollis Thompson will be the rich man's poor man's Anthony Morrow in Oklahoma City, Carl Landry will be averaging 37 points a night in the Adriatic League. Even Sam Hinkie might be part of the Spurs' South American scouting department by then. What will remain is us, wondering if blind faith is somehow actually its own reward, applying Einsteinian metaphysics to beliefs of championship-bound alternate Sixers universes, hoping that second-round picks can be redeemed for karma points when the NBA's day of reckoning officially comes. We won't get the answers we crave, but we'll feel fuller — if never totally fulfilled — for having asked the questions. Man looks in the abyss, there's nothing staring back at him. At that moment, man finds his character. The Process may not build a contender, but if it doesn't at least build character, then we are all totally screwed.
Portland next for the Philadelphia 76ers next Saturday. There is another world. There is a better world. Oh, there must be.