
For years fans have speculated on the reasons behind the tight end's ineptitude on the football field. Unfortunately, the Smith family received some devastating news after last night's loss in Washington. While receiving routine treatment after the game, the training staff informed L.J. that he is unable to walk and chew gum at the same time.
Many of us have joked at the expense of our blonde friends, but few people actually know an otherwise functional human being with this affliction. Most are able to live fairly normal and healthy lives provided they don't mix walking and gum chewing, but as a professional football player, this illness could have a profound effect on his playing career.
Smith's condition is often dismissed as merely the inability to chew gum while walking, but more serious cases often come with other symptoms which team doctors finally uncovered on Sunday. Their first hint came after L.J. dropped a simple pass from McNabb, a lob from no more than three yards away, and as the game progressed it became increasingly apparent on each play. Eagles Head Physician Dr. Peter DeLuca explains:
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We knew something wasn't right with L.J. for quite awhile, but because he's not an avid gum chewer, we weren't able to diagnose his disability sooner.
Quite simply, L.J. is unable to run and catch a football at the same time, causing him to lose control of his legs while his hands reach for the ball. Once they make contact, he regains power over his body, but is now completely out of position to do anything even remotely athletic, often with humorous results.
If L.J. Smith's '08 campaign hadn't already negatively impacted his chance for a big payday in free agency, news of his infirmity almost certainly will. NFL teams often look for athletes with coordination, and medically speaking, Smith has none.
Frankly, we're relieved it wasn't something more serious. We were starting to believe he just isn't any good.