As if your innards weren’t twisted enough this weekend, Washington now sits atop the the NFC East while even Dallas has somehow clawed their way back to mediocrity. Thankfully the Giants are still garbage. Also, we have Gritty… though most Birds fans are still grumpier than Earl Thomas on the injury cart.
Here’s what happened, and what’s happening, this week in the NFC East:
Washington (2-1)
ICYMI: OF COURSE Washington takes first place on their stinkin’ bye week. Washington is a RIGGED SYSTEM!
Spin: The focus has been on formerly big names like Alex Smith and Adrian Peterson (who, as a 33-year-old running back, is now predictably injured), but it’s the Washington D that may be the engine for this squad.
They haven’t exactly been getting to the quarterback in the same way, say, the Titans did on Sunday, and sure, the stats are kind of skewed because they got to play Sammy Sleeves Bradford in Week One… but holding Aaron Rodgers to under 20 points is impressive no matter what the situation. Josh Norman, Quinton Dunbar, D.J Swearinger… there’s some talent on the defensive side of the ball, especially in the secondary.
What’s Next: Drew Brees and the Giant-slaying Saints. If this secondary can hold Brees in check, then we can maybe, just maybe, consider hitting the hype button.
NFL
Dallas Cowboys (2-2)
ICYMI: How bad was Sunday? Even the Cowboys won, slipping past the utterly-worthless Detroit Lions, 26-24. Dak Prescott had his best game in a calendar year, throwing for a paltry 255 yards (and two TDs) on just 17 completions. The Cowboys also benched their most-expensive wide receiver, because this organization is run by circus clowns.
Spin: DAK IS GREAT AGAIN! Well, actually, it was Elliott that did most of the damage in this one, but hey, DAK THREW FOR OVER 200 YARDS AND HE THEREFORE IS A REAL, ACTUAL QB. Give this man a seven-year extension.
Like Washington, the Cowboys best asset currently appears to be the defense (though they did just give up 24 points at home to Jim Bob Cooter). Naturally, Sean Lee is already out with injury, which was as predictable as the sun rising.
What’s Next: The Houston Texans, who fell butt-backwards into a victory last Sunday. Here’s hoping DeShaun Watson turns back into his 2017 self, and fast.
New York Giants (1-3)
ICYMI: Thank goodness for the Gmen, who didn’t have an answer for Alvin Kamara on Sunday. Pat Shurmur’s squad got out to an early lead but then was slowly bled to death by kicker Will Lutz. New Orleans got out to a two-possession lead in the 3rd quarter, and unlike our Birds, opted not to blow it.
Spin: No positive way to spin this; the Giants aren’t good. The blandness of this offense is pathetic considering the ridiculously awesome playmakers on this roster. Even third-option Sterling Shepard is a stud, and yet they’re averaging under 19 points a game. OBJ is predictably getting piffy. Good thing they gave all that money to Jonathan Stewart (who was placed on IR, BTW)
What’s Next: With the Panthers, Iggles, Falcons, and Washington upcoming, this Giants season could get ugly, and fast. Which, after what Birds fans had to witness on Sunday, would be a welcome distraction.