Looking for a way to feel better about the Birds slow start? That’s what the NFC East is for! This past weekend the Giants went down in an amazingly-familiar fashion, the Cowboys head coach showed fewer guts than a daffodil, and Washington proved themselves a wee bit overrated, specifically defensively.
Here’s what happened, and what’s happening, this week in the NFC East:
Washington (2-2)
ICYMI: So much for the improved Washington secondary. Thirty-nine-year-old Drew Brees shredded Washington like a Banksy painting, as the NFC East leaders got humiliated, 43-19 in New Orleans. Washington benched Josh Norman, the $13-million cornerback, and color me shocked a major free agent signing hasn’t worked out for Dan Snyder.
Brees set some sort of record that will eventually be Carson Wentz’s, so that was pretty neat. Oh, and 33-year-old AP is banged up. Who didn’t see that one coming?
Spin: The Birds weren’t the only team who’s bubble was burst this past week. Sure, Brees is historically awesome, but taking that kind of a whomping on national TV is the kind of thing that sticks with a team. Cue the collapse montage.
What’s Next: The Panthers at home. If Cam Newton has similar success to Brees, don’t count on Jay Gruden being able to hold this group of aging vets together.
NFL
Dallas Cowboys (2-3)
ICYMI: Like field goals? Then this was the game for you! Dallas fell in overtime to the equally-disappointing Houston Texas, 19-16 in a game that featured seven three-pointers. Fun stuff!
The storyline out of Big D is the moronic decision by Jason Garrett to punt in overtime on 4th-and-one from the Texans 42-yard line. Houston won five plays later. But hey, it’s only Garrett’s 9th year coaching the team; I’m sure he’ll learn these things eventually.
Dak threw for a laughable 208 yards and Zeke ran for a season-low 54. Ted Cruz is more electric than this garbage.
Spin: The Cowboys really are the bizarro-Birds; young QB coached by a career NFL back-up... except the young QB is inept and the head coach has no guts. I’m counting the days until they come to The Linc (31).
What’s Next: A home game against the unpredictable Jaguars. Expect Dak to throw for 47-yards.
New York Giants (1-4)
ICYMI: Jake Elliott’s 61-yard-kick-to-the-groin of every New Yorker last season somehow became less painful, as Graham Gano hit a 63-yarder and sent the Giants to a 33-31 loss.
The GMen may have had the play of the week when Odell Beckham threw a 56-yard TD pass to Saquon Barkley, a highlight that will now sit in a bucket of plays-that-didn’t-matter, just like OBJ’s two-finger-grab against the Cowboys (another game the Giants lost). This franchise will do everything in its power to waste Beckham’s career. Oh well.
Meanwhile, OBJ is throwing shade at Eli. Oh, and there was a muffed punt for a Panthers TD, because all Giants games should feature an element of self-destruction.
Spin: A 60+ yard field goal sent their season into a death spiral last year; does anyone really think that Shurmur, 70-year-old Eli, and a justifiably-miffed Beckham have what it takes to turn this season around?The Giants have lost 17 of their last 21 games, which is just one less than the Cleveland Browns.
What’s Next: Like you don’t know.